My most favoritest weekend of the year

General conference, I love it. And it just so happened to change my life within the first 10 minutes of listening to it.
Ever since I was little I planned on going to BYU. I wanted to go there and be room mates with my best friend Aly, we wanted to go and make it the best college experience ever, and then I wanted to get married. Even when we were five, Aly and I talked about what our future husbands would be like, what we would name our kids, what our wedding dresses would look like and we decided that we would have these beautiful houses right next door to each other...but reality suddenly hit me the other day;
Our beloved prophet President Thomas S. Monson made the announcement that young men could go on missions at the age of 18 rather than 19, and young women at age 19 rather than 21. After that session Aly called me and we excitedly discussed the new change. Aly then suddenly burst out, "This means I could be married in two years!" ...it was like reality had just slapped me in the face. Aly is pretty confident that she already knows who she is going to marry, and I won't be surprised if they do, they are seriously perfect for each other. But I don't want to grow up yet, I don't want to have to be applying for colleges and sending in ACT scores and looking for a job. I don't want to have to decide what college I'm really going to go to or what I might major in...I don't want to be planning my best friends wedding (even though that would be a ways away, but still). It just seems too fast and it's just getting really real. And now this means that he could go on a mission in about eight months, and I'll be going in less than two and a half years.
In the past year I have decided that I will be going on a mission. But now I'll probably be going a lot sooner than I had originally planned. This is great news! It really is, it just has also been a great reality check as I've realized that I'm growing up. It's finally time to make all those dreams that I had as a little kid come true.  

 The good old days when we would play dress up

 and sit in our "tree house" for hours on end

and sit on giant pumpkins together...

...but now as we grow we have so many new things to look forward to.

Sometimes.

It's incredible how suddenly isolated you feel once your phone is broken, your Internet stops working, and any other resources you might use to contact other people seem to disappear. But sometimes being alone, away from all distraction, can bring new insight. It was under the presence of that majestic tree that isolation turned to solitude as I found my simple serenity. Just me, myself and I, drowning in the bitter silence of thought. My thoughts flowed as swiftly as the tranquil creek beside me, my thoughts were filled with everything so much so that it was as if I was thinking of nothing.
Enveloped in my own little world I sat there. I had no sense of time, no worries, no where to be, no one to please, I was experiencing the raw satisfaction of living. 

  

Changing seasons

It's officially the first day of fall. I cannot even describe the joy that this spectacular day brings me. Hot chocolate, carving pumpkins, the smells, the haunted houses, hoodies and boots, cuddling, the leaves, candy corn, the weather... Autumn, I have been anxiously awaiting your arrival, and finally you're here.
 And as the Earth transitions into a new season, I do as well. Everyone has different seasons in their life; and I am now beginning a new one now. Sometimes I wish I could look into the future and see what life will bring, but I can't, so instead I look ahead with an optimistic excitement, and I continue on, day by day, along the path of life.

 

 Click on any of the above pictures.

Let's be Friends

Sometimes you meet extraordinary people amongst the bustle of every-day life, 
and it feels like you've been friends
for years, and years, and years.
 It doesn't feel like you're welcoming the new face into the collection of familiars,
rather, you're refreshing an old memory of an old face you never get to see. 
You skip the introductions, the stupid remarks, and the small talk.
You skip all the usual occurrences that normal people undergoing introductions endure, 
for you see, this introduction in particular doesn't feel like much of an introduction at all.
 Deep down, despite the lacking memories and the empty safe that's supposed to be filled with long-hushed secrets,
your meeting feels like more of a reunion.

And just like that,
you find yourselves hidden within a safe place,
tucked away from the chaotic world, 
as every secret that has been locked within your heart for so many years manages to slither out of your lips.
 Somehow, this new-found friend held the key that unlocked all your secrets.
You soon realize that before you could even stop it from happening,
you'd become genuine friends;

A friend that tells me I'm wrong,

no matter how much I like to think that I'm right.

You show me the good, even when everything seems bad.

You go along with all my crazy ideas and activities,

even when I know you really don't want to.

You're someone who listens to my ramblings of life,

and you actually listen.

This short time in my life, where we have known each other, has surpassed all other times, even though we haven't done anything particularly spectacular. 

Every simple day moment seems so much better with friends, with the people you love. 

So thanks for making my ordinary life something much more

extraordinary.

Click on this ^ photo for a magical surprise :)

 

his little game

As soon as I'm getting over him he tells me how beautiful I am....

yep, that kinda ruined my whole plan, but I've realized something else:

It's like I'm this little game piece, all part of his big game, and unfortunately he's a really good player.
When I'm unimportant and no longer have a use, he tosses me aside.
And suddenly when a situation comes up, when he needs another piece, he takes the time to find me, and for some reason I'm so grateful for his attention that I don't even realize he's playing me, that he's using me... using me in a way that in the end is all for his benefit.

But now I see it. I can see that he really doesn't care about me, he cares about the end prize, he want's to be the winner, whatever that entails. 

So I'm done, I'm done playing this silly little game and I'm finally taking control of my own life.

Game Over

...but I wish he'd prove me wrong...

Those songs that perfectly describe your life. :)

one of the hardest things in life is knowing which bridge to build,

and which to burn...

Falling into Change

As the crisp autumn leaves begin to change colors I wonder if I can do the same. Can I let go of that past, move on and become something new? When that cool autumn air blows through the trees will I be willing to let go and follow new dreams? I sure hope so. Change can be good, at least that's what I hear. I've never had to change much, but suddenly, now things disappear....and I'm forced to change what I've always know and venture into what is foreign and that is where I roam. At times I feel lost, and other times I'm enlightened, so I'll continue on this journey and hope I can find me. 

my favorite sound in the entire world? That little crunching sound as you walk over the fallen leaves on the sidewalk :) or even better, intensify it by a hundred and just jump into a huge pile of leaves. 

 cause he's adorable

secret obsession #267: fall leaves

Meant to Be

Is it true that everything happens for a reason? 
I believe it is.
How else could my crazy, awful, traumatic situations suddenly turn out perfectly?
Is it really all coincidence? 
I was at my breaking point, and suddenly it all came back together.
So once again I've learned that in the end everything's okay. 
Trust in Him. And trust in His timing.

He loves you.

The Fairytale I needed

It was magical...no words can describe the complete and utter joy I felt yesterday as I once again learned what it feels like to just live.

First of all: I got asked to Homecoming! When the doorbell rang I was in my pajamas getting ready to go to bed and my mom called me up saying the door was for me. Finally, I thought, things might be turning for the better. So I ran up the stairs to find this on my porch:

P.S. that little^ rock on the left said Yes on it
I was glad, and even though the BYU-Utah game happens to be on the same day as homecoming, I got over it :)
Well, the next day was school, but being Friday, everything was a little better. My best friend and I even went out to JCW's for lunch and began our 'try-every-flavor-of-ice cream-at-JCW's-challenge'. And even though I was late for 4th period, I didn't care.
After school my best friend decided to help me answer Ben to homecoming. So there we were, along with our other friends McKell and Heather, making cupcakes and a poster with "It would rock my world to go to homecoming with you" with the O on rOck being the actual rock saying yes on it. And then on Ben's porch there was sitting some random sidewalk chalk, therefore, we decided to draw a pretty chalk mural around the cupcakes and such before we doorbell ditched them and secretly watched as Ben's little sister opened the door and just stood there staring at it for a little while. 

After that little adventure we decided to be spontaneous, we went to U-Swirl and had a TON of free samples. I tried every flavor, some multiple times, so yes it was a lot of frozen yogurt, and then we bought a bunch of those little round topping things that explode in your mouth...they make me happy. At this point we had no where to go, so we drove around. We even went around a round-a-bout 12 times...yes 12, I was dizzy. And somehow we ended up in front of some random persons house, parking the car, and adventuring down into this little hidden pond. We went under this willow tree, a gigantic willow tree, where it was just us, enclosed in this little safe haven. There was a swing, so I swung, the warm summer air blowing my hair...and at that moment I forgot about all my worries-of school, and friends, and life- cause at that moment, everything was perfect. 

We continued on our adventure, climbing through wire fences, up and over hills, hopping over ditches and walking through the tall grass, until we came to the tree. Our tree, the perfect tree, in which we climbed until we could climb no higher, and we sat. We sat there, and I looked up, up through the green tree canopy, up to where the night sky was lit by the full blue moon. Up. To where my newly found best friend sat, at only one week of acquaintance he was teaching me how to live, how to love, and how to be happy.

One of those days.

It's one of those days where everything goes wrong...
It all started when our drill practice was scheduled to start at 5:30 (that's in the morning time) and of course I woke up late, therefore I had the wonderful opportunity to run laps around the track, and let me tell you, I absolutely LOATH running. 
At practice I showed everyone the most ungraceful way to fall on your butt, gave the floor a high-five with my face, and bruised my knee in a lovely pattern that somewhat resembles a flower. Then today was picture day, yes picture day, a day in which I get to have my picture taken to be put in a yearbook so random people can look at my face and laugh at how funny I look. And getting out from drill late and having less then 5 minutes to get ready did not help my situation. 
Throughout the day; I got gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe, sworn at by a angry hall-passer-byer, failed my band test (who fails band?...oh yeah, me), had yogurt explode in my backpack, forgot my Latin assignment, dropped my sucker on the floor, recieved hate glares from her and much much more...

nonetheless

There's still good to be seen, a beautiful world to appreciate... like that one girl that complimented my greasy, messy, untamed hair, or the fact that today was warm and sunny, and then of course there's my new best friend, along with the fact that I got a sucker in seminary (after the one I previously dropped on the floor), and then there's just the beautiful flowers, and people, and happiness.

So don't be sad, there's too much of that in the world today, there's always something to give you that little happy sunshine ray :)

...even if it's really hard to find

Sometimes.

Sometimes, much too often, I look, I adore and I wish. I wish that I could be that person, I wish that I was perfect. But all too often that definition of perfect becomes askew. Perfect...

The perfect dancer, the best. I wish

To be incredibly in shape, all skinny yet muscular

A perfect pianist,

or the smartest of smart,

the most beautiful one that everyone else would envy,

the best musician

and the nicest person ever.

the most eloquent writer,

to sing the very best

and to have all the talent in the world.

Yet,

I'm an ordinary girl...

and to others I may never be the best,

but I will be the best I can be,

and that is something extraordinary.

 



A little White Chocolate Hot Cocoa :)

Sometimes it the little things that get you through the day...
or else I might just have not made it through today.

• Like being able to wear old grandma christmas sweaters, and recieving more compliments then any other time
• having friends snitch food from their own class parties to share with me
• watching Carson Thompson light a match on his pants zipper in order to light candles on a cake,and then quickly blowing them out realizing potential suspension :P
• eating so much junk food it's kinda insane.... doughnuts, soda, cake, cookies, random chips and salsa [yep that was my lunch]
• White Chocolate Hot Cocoa after school= happy Kirsten :)

anyways this shall be short because I must go, but I did in fact make it through school today and surprisingly quite enjoyably. only one more day to go!

Done...

"I've fallen like a fool for you...
..I tell myself I'm in too deep 
Then I fall a little farther 
Everytime you look at me"

Done...
    Everything,
             I'm
                Done

School is the last thing I want to do

I'm so mentally ready for a break

A break from everything

But deep down inside I don't want to be done with him,

I don't want everything we had to just vanish,

yet I can't handle it anymore.

'Tis time for Christmas Break

People

People... it's a strange word to descibe us all,

we are all so different in so many ways,

some people compliment me way too much,

others like to try and tear me down,

some people will make my day,

others won't even give me the time of day,

some people help me,

while others hurt me,

some people call me their friends,

when others say I'm anything but a friend...

(yes, i do realize that all that ^ was about me...but that's what a blog is for)

why people say what they do I will never know, 

what we all think is known to each individual alone,

but while we can look at our differences through,

 we are all still alike, for we are God's children it's true.

 

I Think I Think Too Much...

 today I thought of things, people, places to be,

my fantasies, reality, and the things I did see.

I thought of the thoughts that others might think, and,

as silly as it seems, their thoughts about me.

Do I visit their thoughts only seldom or more?

Am I pleasant or not in those thinkings galore,

when I'm thinking of them do they think of me too?

And am I the only one who thinks these things through...

Do I matter to them as much as they do to me,

but I may never know so I'll let it just be.

[Im]perfect

Its that feeling of inadequacy,

thinking you're not enough,

comparing yourself to others

only to wish you were more like them,

wishing for her clothes, her talents, her beauty, her man, her hair, her smarts, her personality, her life, 

but why become more like her when you can be you...

It took me some Sunday school lessons, along with a temple trip, and reading a friends words to realize that.

here would be some of those words I mentioned:

You have something she doesn't :)
You have your faith.
You have a light, bright as day, shining right within you.
You have the knowledge that you are not alone.
You have imperfections, which are most beautiful anyway.
You have strengths and talents no one has, maybe even you do not know them.
You are YOU.
Don't ever second guess yourself.
He knows what you are to do.
So go find that out.
And always remember, I love you.


It's so true! In the end it doesn't matter if I became perfect in their eyes, but that I can become perfect through Him... that I have divine qualities and purposes that I'm here on this earth to fulfill, and no one can stop me from reaching that potential.



Random Spasms of Happiness

It's official:

Everyone thinks I'm crazy

I am crazy

and today it was a little more than normal.

Reason? maybe it was the relief of turning in an essay, or a teacher saying that the homework actually isn't due until next time, or feeling good after taking a test. maybe it was the sporatic hug, or even the fact that he walked a little faster in the hall just to come talk to me, there's a possibility it was simply because he sat by me at lunch, or maybe it was the doughnuts my wonderful friend Brittney brought to lunch. It could have also been that school was short, that I have no homework to do and therefore I finally get to enjoy my time and breathe.

well... life is good. in fact life is beautiful and amazing.



Count Your *bLeSsInGs*

I realize I complain a lot

that sometimes I'm negative

that you all have to listen to me whine

but I also realize that we live life once

that being positive makes life better

and that I have a lot of blessings.

Some look at the glass half empty, others half full...and then there's the ones who are just grateful for the glass :)

• my family
• the gospel
• my house
• my clothes
• my friends
• school
• my shoes
• a car
• dance
• the sun
• beautiful sunsets
• gorgeous sunrises
• daylight savings
• seminary
• the scriptures
• prayer
• church
• people at church
• this computer
• the internet
• paper
• homework (believe it or not)
• food
• people who smile in the halls
• friends who give me hugs
• a very special friend who brings me hot chocolate :)
• the sound crunching leaves make
• people who give compliments
• my mom and dad encouraging me to get good grades
• my little brother who makes me laugh
• inspirational quotes
• music
• the temple
• cell phones
• holidays to look forward to
• a warm house
• the piano
• hymns
• post-it notes (they help me more than you could imagine)
• sleep
• I'm grateful for you... no matter who you are I know you have impacted my life, whether big or small, and I appreciate that. 
• and I'm sure I could continue this list...but for times sake I won't :) 

Lost for Words

I have no idea what I'm posting about or why I'm even attempting

to create a legitimate post...but any who here's some random thoughts of mine.



I want to be in Hawaii

on a beach...yeah that'd

be nice

I love fall, mostly the leaves

I really want to make a huge

pile and jump in it.

Maybe my bestie will decide

to play with me and we shall

do this.

He's amazing...yes him.

I'm obsessed. But if he

would just stop being so

nice, and smart, and funny,

and cute, and talk able, and

incredible then maybe I'd be

able to get over him.

I love my crazy family.

Eating Ice cream and going

crazy in a car with them is

most enjoyable. They make

me giggle.

I'm so sore from dance...

but I love it.

I LOVE IT!!

I should probably be doing

this silly little thing called

homework right now.

I think I'll go make cupcakes

for my friends little sister...

Life is good. Be Happy.

Enjoy life. You only get to live

today once.

Let's Be Friends

Sometimes you meet extraordinary people amongst the bustle of every-day life, 
and it feels like you've been friends
for years, and years, and years.
 It doesn't feel like you're welcoming the new face into the collection of familiars,
rather, you're refreshing an old memory of an old face you never get to see. 
You skip the introductions, the stupid remarks, and the small talk.
You skip all the usual occurrences that normal people undergoing introductions endure, 
for you see, this introduction in particular doesn't feel like much of an introduction at all.
 Deep down, despite the lacking memories and the empty safe that's supposed to be filled with long-hushed secrets,
your meeting feels like more of a reuinion.

And just like that,
you find yourselves hidden within a safe place,
tucked away from the chaotic world, 
as every secret that has been locked within your heart for so many years manages to slither out of your lips.
 Somehow, this new-found friend held the key that unlocked all your secrets.
You soon realize that before you could even stop it from happening,
you'd become genuine friends.

finding a way to forget life and live

Life is perfect,

who would've thought I'd be saying that,

but I am,

and you may be wondering...

why so perfect?

answer: there's no reason it can't be,

I've learned to live,

don't live in the past but learn from it,

don't live only for the present but live with it,

don't wish for the future but determine what it will be,

Life is a gift

 and sometimes we just have to step back,

forget about stress,

forget about silly little things,

and appreciate life for what it's worth,

I just feel joy,

and there is no particlular reason,

except for there is no reason to be anything except

happy.

but maybe he does add to the happiness,

and maybe sitting next to him with us playing the piano

is the best feeling in the world,

and maybe long late night talks are really nice,

and maybe I just really love life.

and maybe I've learned what it really means to live...

because I love it

 Just because....

because we were there