his little game

As soon as I'm getting over him he tells me how beautiful I am....

yep, that kinda ruined my whole plan, but I've realized something else:

It's like I'm this little game piece, all part of his big game, and unfortunately he's a really good player.
When I'm unimportant and no longer have a use, he tosses me aside.
And suddenly when a situation comes up, when he needs another piece, he takes the time to find me, and for some reason I'm so grateful for his attention that I don't even realize he's playing me, that he's using me... using me in a way that in the end is all for his benefit.

But now I see it. I can see that he really doesn't care about me, he cares about the end prize, he want's to be the winner, whatever that entails. 

So I'm done, I'm done playing this silly little game and I'm finally taking control of my own life.

Game Over

...but I wish he'd prove me wrong...

Those songs that perfectly describe your life. :)

one of the hardest things in life is knowing which bridge to build,

and which to burn...

Sometimes.

Sometimes, much too often, I look, I adore and I wish. I wish that I could be that person, I wish that I was perfect. But all too often that definition of perfect becomes askew. Perfect...

The perfect dancer, the best. I wish

To be incredibly in shape, all skinny yet muscular

A perfect pianist,

or the smartest of smart,

the most beautiful one that everyone else would envy,

the best musician

and the nicest person ever.

the most eloquent writer,

to sing the very best

and to have all the talent in the world.

Yet,

I'm an ordinary girl...

and to others I may never be the best,

but I will be the best I can be,

and that is something extraordinary.

 



I Think I Think Too Much...

 today I thought of things, people, places to be,

my fantasies, reality, and the things I did see.

I thought of the thoughts that others might think, and,

as silly as it seems, their thoughts about me.

Do I visit their thoughts only seldom or more?

Am I pleasant or not in those thinkings galore,

when I'm thinking of them do they think of me too?

And am I the only one who thinks these things through...

Do I matter to them as much as they do to me,

but I may never know so I'll let it just be.

La La Land

One moment I'm there, then suddenly I'm gone. I'm sure my eyes get this glazed over look as if I'm staring into outerspace.

My mind slowly drifts...the voices around me fade and I'm in my perfect fantasy. Never logical or realistic my mind creates a beautiful image. Whatever it may be. An image of a perfect world, just perfect and carefree. You have all been there at one time...for some more frequently. Like me I was there for most of my day, it's just so calm and comforting. To dream and wish, it's what I love. And then there's reality.

My eyes become focused, my mind becomes clear and once again I'm there. It's like waking up to an annoying alarm clock except the alarm is an annoying voice with no snooze button. It's that wonderful realization that you have no idea what the teacher is talking about and that you just missed the whole class discussion...great. But it's totally worth it. :)     

11-11-11...the only 1

Guess what?

I know I say this all

the time but I will tell you

again, you only get to live today

once...that's right once. 11-11-11

it's the only one, every breathe

is one you can't get back,

every moment of

sad-

ness

is

one

mo-

ment

of

happ-

iness

you'll

ne-

ver

live.

so

make

to-

day

a

good

one

Make a Wish and Make it Happen

see what I did there? (just in case you're blonde like me and need some assistance) the words make one of those little wishing weeds, the ones that parents hate but I adore, that blow into the wind and make you feel all happy inside. I like those weeds :)

with love,

the blonde one  

I'm wishing

I wish

that school was easy...that I was smart and could get good grades easily

but it doesn't work that way, therefore i am drowning in homework. I feel like everything is falling apart and that it's impossible to get it back together.

Wouldn't it be nice to just be laying on the beach with no worries and stress free? yeah,

I wish.

But no. I'm falling, I'm drowning and I need someone to come save me...


(hugs are always appreciated)