his little game

As soon as I'm getting over him he tells me how beautiful I am....

yep, that kinda ruined my whole plan, but I've realized something else:

It's like I'm this little game piece, all part of his big game, and unfortunately he's a really good player.
When I'm unimportant and no longer have a use, he tosses me aside.
And suddenly when a situation comes up, when he needs another piece, he takes the time to find me, and for some reason I'm so grateful for his attention that I don't even realize he's playing me, that he's using me... using me in a way that in the end is all for his benefit.

But now I see it. I can see that he really doesn't care about me, he cares about the end prize, he want's to be the winner, whatever that entails. 

So I'm done, I'm done playing this silly little game and I'm finally taking control of my own life.

Game Over

...but I wish he'd prove me wrong...

Those songs that perfectly describe your life. :)

one of the hardest things in life is knowing which bridge to build,

and which to burn...

Meant to Be

Is it true that everything happens for a reason? 
I believe it is.
How else could my crazy, awful, traumatic situations suddenly turn out perfectly?
Is it really all coincidence? 
I was at my breaking point, and suddenly it all came back together.
So once again I've learned that in the end everything's okay. 
Trust in Him. And trust in His timing.

He loves you.

One of those days.

It's one of those days where everything goes wrong...
It all started when our drill practice was scheduled to start at 5:30 (that's in the morning time) and of course I woke up late, therefore I had the wonderful opportunity to run laps around the track, and let me tell you, I absolutely LOATH running. 
At practice I showed everyone the most ungraceful way to fall on your butt, gave the floor a high-five with my face, and bruised my knee in a lovely pattern that somewhat resembles a flower. Then today was picture day, yes picture day, a day in which I get to have my picture taken to be put in a yearbook so random people can look at my face and laugh at how funny I look. And getting out from drill late and having less then 5 minutes to get ready did not help my situation. 
Throughout the day; I got gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe, sworn at by a angry hall-passer-byer, failed my band test (who fails band?...oh yeah, me), had yogurt explode in my backpack, forgot my Latin assignment, dropped my sucker on the floor, recieved hate glares from her and much much more...

nonetheless

There's still good to be seen, a beautiful world to appreciate... like that one girl that complimented my greasy, messy, untamed hair, or the fact that today was warm and sunny, and then of course there's my new best friend, along with the fact that I got a sucker in seminary (after the one I previously dropped on the floor), and then there's just the beautiful flowers, and people, and happiness.

So don't be sad, there's too much of that in the world today, there's always something to give you that little happy sunshine ray :)

...even if it's really hard to find

Happy Monday?

Sometimes life can be a whirlwind of emotion; with unexpected things flying at you, and at first you try to hold on, but eventually you let go and get caught up in everything else. everything spins in circles- seemingly endless- and all you can do is try to survive. and for some strange reason the storm always seems to intensify on the fabulous day called Monday.

Happy Monday?...yeah biggest oxymoron ever

but I can't complain too much:

• he remembered who i was
• we talked and ate lunch together
• for the first time in a while i didn't spend every second thinking about the other guy...even if he was sitting across the way with her
• i got all my homework in
• i didn't have a total and complete breakdown in the hall

...so I'd say it was a pretty successful day.

and now I have tomorrow to look forward to. Have a happy Monday! 

At times in our life 

we'll find that we'll fall,

so that when we stand

we'll stand that much more tall

The breaking point...

When you fail tests,

somehow life seems to fall apart,

It's not THAT big of a deal...

but it just starts with those little things like

doing bad on a test,

and everything seems to snowball into a bad day...

and how do we change that?

Well to be honest with ya that ^ was me today and at one point in my day I just wanted to quit, I wanted to go curl up the corner and never leave. Then I remembered this fabulous quote:

So with that and general conference thoughts popping into my head,

I decided to change my day.

I looked at the positive:

• I have wonderful friends who listen to all my complaining
• I have a family who loves me (even if I do fail my test)
• There's always someone that's in a worse situation than me
• My situations definitely not that bad
• I have the gospel in my life and am lucky enough to be blessed with such a wonderful life full of wonderful people and wonderful things....
• Ultimately I realized I just need to be more grateful
• Plus I realized that 'fail' just stands for:

 F- first

 A- attempt

I- in

 L- learning

:)

"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry,

show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."

I'm wishing

I wish

that school was easy...that I was smart and could get good grades easily

but it doesn't work that way, therefore i am drowning in homework. I feel like everything is falling apart and that it's impossible to get it back together.

Wouldn't it be nice to just be laying on the beach with no worries and stress free? yeah,

I wish.

But no. I'm falling, I'm drowning and I need someone to come save me...


(hugs are always appreciated)