My most favoritest weekend of the year

General conference, I love it. And it just so happened to change my life within the first 10 minutes of listening to it.
Ever since I was little I planned on going to BYU. I wanted to go there and be room mates with my best friend Aly, we wanted to go and make it the best college experience ever, and then I wanted to get married. Even when we were five, Aly and I talked about what our future husbands would be like, what we would name our kids, what our wedding dresses would look like and we decided that we would have these beautiful houses right next door to each other...but reality suddenly hit me the other day;
Our beloved prophet President Thomas S. Monson made the announcement that young men could go on missions at the age of 18 rather than 19, and young women at age 19 rather than 21. After that session Aly called me and we excitedly discussed the new change. Aly then suddenly burst out, "This means I could be married in two years!" ...it was like reality had just slapped me in the face. Aly is pretty confident that she already knows who she is going to marry, and I won't be surprised if they do, they are seriously perfect for each other. But I don't want to grow up yet, I don't want to have to be applying for colleges and sending in ACT scores and looking for a job. I don't want to have to decide what college I'm really going to go to or what I might major in...I don't want to be planning my best friends wedding (even though that would be a ways away, but still). It just seems too fast and it's just getting really real. And now this means that he could go on a mission in about eight months, and I'll be going in less than two and a half years.
In the past year I have decided that I will be going on a mission. But now I'll probably be going a lot sooner than I had originally planned. This is great news! It really is, it just has also been a great reality check as I've realized that I'm growing up. It's finally time to make all those dreams that I had as a little kid come true.  

 The good old days when we would play dress up

 and sit in our "tree house" for hours on end

and sit on giant pumpkins together...

...but now as we grow we have so many new things to look forward to.

Changing seasons

It's officially the first day of fall. I cannot even describe the joy that this spectacular day brings me. Hot chocolate, carving pumpkins, the smells, the haunted houses, hoodies and boots, cuddling, the leaves, candy corn, the weather... Autumn, I have been anxiously awaiting your arrival, and finally you're here.
 And as the Earth transitions into a new season, I do as well. Everyone has different seasons in their life; and I am now beginning a new one now. Sometimes I wish I could look into the future and see what life will bring, but I can't, so instead I look ahead with an optimistic excitement, and I continue on, day by day, along the path of life.

 

 Click on any of the above pictures.

The photos I promised

Homecoming 2012
Junior Year

 Yeah...he proposed to me ;)

As I said before, homecoming was magical. Obviously Ben is a stud and I had the BEST group anyone could ask for. The whole day was just amazing. And the dance? A grand staircase entrance, illuminated by the stars, and the moon, and thousands of Christmas lights that were wrapped around trees. Literally, it felt as if we had walked into a movie. So yeah, it was great, a night I always hope to remember. And now, I get to look forward to all the other great things that happen in high school, and life, and I'm excited.

his little game

As soon as I'm getting over him he tells me how beautiful I am....

yep, that kinda ruined my whole plan, but I've realized something else:

It's like I'm this little game piece, all part of his big game, and unfortunately he's a really good player.
When I'm unimportant and no longer have a use, he tosses me aside.
And suddenly when a situation comes up, when he needs another piece, he takes the time to find me, and for some reason I'm so grateful for his attention that I don't even realize he's playing me, that he's using me... using me in a way that in the end is all for his benefit.

But now I see it. I can see that he really doesn't care about me, he cares about the end prize, he want's to be the winner, whatever that entails. 

So I'm done, I'm done playing this silly little game and I'm finally taking control of my own life.

Game Over

...but I wish he'd prove me wrong...

Those songs that perfectly describe your life. :)

one of the hardest things in life is knowing which bridge to build,

and which to burn...

Happy Monday?

Sometimes life can be a whirlwind of emotion; with unexpected things flying at you, and at first you try to hold on, but eventually you let go and get caught up in everything else. everything spins in circles- seemingly endless- and all you can do is try to survive. and for some strange reason the storm always seems to intensify on the fabulous day called Monday.

Happy Monday?...yeah biggest oxymoron ever

but I can't complain too much:

• he remembered who i was
• we talked and ate lunch together
• for the first time in a while i didn't spend every second thinking about the other guy...even if he was sitting across the way with her
• i got all my homework in
• i didn't have a total and complete breakdown in the hall

...so I'd say it was a pretty successful day.

and now I have tomorrow to look forward to. Have a happy Monday! 

At times in our life 

we'll find that we'll fall,

so that when we stand

we'll stand that much more tall