Sometimes.

It's incredible how suddenly isolated you feel once your phone is broken, your Internet stops working, and any other resources you might use to contact other people seem to disappear. But sometimes being alone, away from all distraction, can bring new insight. It was under the presence of that majestic tree that isolation turned to solitude as I found my simple serenity. Just me, myself and I, drowning in the bitter silence of thought. My thoughts flowed as swiftly as the tranquil creek beside me, my thoughts were filled with everything so much so that it was as if I was thinking of nothing.
Enveloped in my own little world I sat there. I had no sense of time, no worries, no where to be, no one to please, I was experiencing the raw satisfaction of living. 

  

Secrets

She sits all alone, those thoughts to herself. 
No one knows what she's thinking, and they'll never find out. 
No one knows who she is, no one but her own self. 
She just wants someone there for her secrets to tell. 
She's tired of hiding these thoughts all inside, and one small burst escapes, as her eye slowly cries. 
And then she puts on a smile as she passes them by.   

 Just like all my other posts, you can click on a picture and my other blog-thing magically appears.

Finally.

I don't know why some days seem so much harder than others,

but they are.

I don't know why this week was so very grotesque,

but it was.

Tests,

Headaches,

Concerts,

Homework,

Missing,

No time,

Drama,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Maybe it was just the combination of everything crashing down on me....

but its Friday,

Finally.

But to be positive:

I got a hug

I passed road test

only one more week until break

I still had dance to let out emotions

its over

and now I'll try and enjoy this blessing of a weekend.

I might actually try going and doing something tonight other than watch chick flicks all alone.

but let's be honest,

the one thing that will be on my mind nearly all weekend will be him,

and I'll sit on my couch, piano, or bed

and just stare at my phone.

I'll wish for that text even a simple "hey"

but thus it will never appear...

so then I will wonder if I should be the one,

or is he just annoyed when my name pops up on his screen,

would he quickly reply,

or delay his response cause he really doesn't want to talk to me,

So i'll argue with myself again and again until I

lose the battle and finally give in.

Finally.

What do I do?

I really need to get over him,

Everyday I desperately look for sign that he still likes me,

when in reality I know he doesn't,

but I have hopelessly fallen in a trap,

and I don't know how to get out,

I follow him around like a little puppy,

I attempt to talk to him and make a fool out of myself,

I try and create this relationship that truly never was,

and definitely never will be,

I really need to just get over it and move on with my life...

but there's that small part of me that wants to hold on,

hold on to that small strand of hope that stills remains,

I will continue to dream, to watch and to hope,

and I guess what ever happens was meant to be,

right?

I'm back to where I was... and I wish I wasn't here...but what can I do? 

Is that what I need to do?

...or is just one reason enough?

Well I guess there's always hope...

I Think I Think Too Much...

 today I thought of things, people, places to be,

my fantasies, reality, and the things I did see.

I thought of the thoughts that others might think, and,

as silly as it seems, their thoughts about me.

Do I visit their thoughts only seldom or more?

Am I pleasant or not in those thinkings galore,

when I'm thinking of them do they think of me too?

And am I the only one who thinks these things through...

Do I matter to them as much as they do to me,

but I may never know so I'll let it just be.

Count Your *bLeSsInGs*

I realize I complain a lot

that sometimes I'm negative

that you all have to listen to me whine

but I also realize that we live life once

that being positive makes life better

and that I have a lot of blessings.

Some look at the glass half empty, others half full...and then there's the ones who are just grateful for the glass :)

• my family
• the gospel
• my house
• my clothes
• my friends
• school
• my shoes
• a car
• dance
• the sun
• beautiful sunsets
• gorgeous sunrises
• daylight savings
• seminary
• the scriptures
• prayer
• church
• people at church
• this computer
• the internet
• paper
• homework (believe it or not)
• food
• people who smile in the halls
• friends who give me hugs
• a very special friend who brings me hot chocolate :)
• the sound crunching leaves make
• people who give compliments
• my mom and dad encouraging me to get good grades
• my little brother who makes me laugh
• inspirational quotes
• music
• the temple
• cell phones
• holidays to look forward to
• a warm house
• the piano
• hymns
• post-it notes (they help me more than you could imagine)
• sleep
• I'm grateful for you... no matter who you are I know you have impacted my life, whether big or small, and I appreciate that. 
• and I'm sure I could continue this list...but for times sake I won't :) 

Lost for Words

I have no idea what I'm posting about or why I'm even attempting

to create a legitimate post...but any who here's some random thoughts of mine.



I want to be in Hawaii

on a beach...yeah that'd

be nice

I love fall, mostly the leaves

I really want to make a huge

pile and jump in it.

Maybe my bestie will decide

to play with me and we shall

do this.

He's amazing...yes him.

I'm obsessed. But if he

would just stop being so

nice, and smart, and funny,

and cute, and talk able, and

incredible then maybe I'd be

able to get over him.

I love my crazy family.

Eating Ice cream and going

crazy in a car with them is

most enjoyable. They make

me giggle.

I'm so sore from dance...

but I love it.

I LOVE IT!!

I should probably be doing

this silly little thing called

homework right now.

I think I'll go make cupcakes

for my friends little sister...

Life is good. Be Happy.

Enjoy life. You only get to live

today once.