Zebra Stripes

Who knew girls could be so emotional. I sometimes can't understand it. But at the same time I need to realize it's not a big deal. I love her, a lot (I honestly do) and so I'll forgive and forget because the first to apologize is the bravest, the first to forgive is the strongest, and the first to forget is the happiest. And let's be honest, we all have those crazy emotional moments, and my week seemed to be filled with them. Do you want to hear about them? Well, if you do, here ya go:
Sometimes I feel bad for Monday, everyone seems to hate her so, but sometimes it really sucks to have to go back to reality and realize you must make it through the whole week, so I don't blame anyone for hating Monday, cause I do to. And well, let's just say that by the end of 4th period that day I was ready to burst into tears. But he noticed, and he told me that all will be well. He reminded me of the good things in life. And when I finally sat down in my car, ready to go home after a long day, I just took a deep breath, I let out a long sigh and then I looked right in front of me, where stuck on my windshield was a kind note. Filled with love and optimism, this note let me know that someone cared for me, that they cared about me, and it made me so happy that for the rest of the day my face hurt from smiling so much.
Tuesday felt like it should've been a Thursday. I went through the motions and survived another day in the dreaded place most people call school. Later that day I had the opportunity of acting like a 5 year old for a number of hours as I babysat. I was reminded of the simplicity and the true joys in life, I was reminded of what really matters.
I'm pretty sure I slept through most of Wednesday, classes and all. But I also went to a lovely choir concert. And afterwards we went to see our friend open his mission call. What an experience it is to see your good friend open his mission call, to realize he will be in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma for two whole years.
Thursday, oh Thursday.  I decided to be spontaneous, and I just showed up at a soccer game. Probably the best spontaneous thing I have ever done. I really had no idea he had a game. I just saw his car and realized that, being a Thursday, he might have a game. So I walked over there and watched. Afterwards we talked... And sometimes just talking to someone can turn your day upside down and make it one of the best days ever. 
And that brings us all the way to today, Friday! I'll be incredibly impressed if you actually read all of this....
So, moral of the story is; life is filled with good and bad, highs and lows, happy and sad. It all just depends on how you decide to look at it. I appreciate genuine people; the kind of people who look you in the eye when they say they care about you, and then give you the warmest hug you ever did have. I appreciate happy people; the people who smile in the face of adversity and look at hard circumstances as an opportunity to grow. I appreciate people who appreciate life; the kind of people who live each day as if it is some grand adventure. I appreciate you.

me.

Sometimes I get so caught up in my crazy, teenage, irrational emotions; jealous, rude, overly-sensitive, critical, selfish. But that's not really me, I hope.
 *I sincerely apologize to those of you who have ever affiliated with me during my awful outbursts of rage, but everyone has those moments, right?*
But luckily, I have found my outlet, my way to let it go, and it's called dance. 
Now, you must understand that I dance everyday, but there is a large difference between just doing dance movements and dancing with your whole heart and soul. Sometimes it's during these hard days, when my whole world seems to be upside down, that I've learned how to truly dance. There, all by myself, though surrounded by others, I'm able to forget myself and let it go, and at that moment I expose myself to the entire world, my worries disappear and suddenly I'm me.
It's not always about the competitions and judges, or what people say about me when I dance, it's not about the reputation I get as a dancer (especially because at times it's not a very good reputation), but it's about that feeling I have when I dance. That feeling of freedom, of ,complete and utter joy that feeling when you can finally see yourself improve, that moment when your crazy, awful day is suddenly filled with light, that moment when my true self is expressed.
Words can't describe it, but let me try it this way:

Imagine a cardboard box in a dark room,

inside is a light,

but the only way you can ever see that light is if you open the box,

and once the box is opened, that light can reach out and fill the darkness.

the world (and my crazy, teenage, irrational emotions) is the darkness,

I am the box

and dance is that light inside of me,

when I open up, I expose myself to the world,

suddenly that darkness is filled with light

and I am happy...I am me.

if you click on this lovely photo it leads to my photo-blog-project-thing :)

Learning to Dance in the Rain

Life's still not perfect, the storm's not quite over, but rather, I've learned to dance in the rain
Litterally.
Out in the dark of night, huge rain drops poured, and we danced. Running around, screaming, laughing, jumping in puddles. We splashed each other, us as friends. And as the water dripped down my face I realized that I was happy. Standing there in the freezing cold rain, I was happy.

11-11-11...the only 1

Guess what?

I know I say this all

the time but I will tell you

again, you only get to live today

once...that's right once. 11-11-11

it's the only one, every breathe

is one you can't get back,

every moment of

sad-

ness

is

one

mo-

ment

of

happ-

iness

you'll

ne-

ver

live.

so

make

to-

day

a

good

one

Make a Wish and Make it Happen

see what I did there? (just in case you're blonde like me and need some assistance) the words make one of those little wishing weeds, the ones that parents hate but I adore, that blow into the wind and make you feel all happy inside. I like those weeds :)

with love,

the blonde one  

More of My Silly Teenage Girl Life :)

Why you might be reading this...I don't know.
The only reason I actually write on this blog is because it's a nice way to examine my life, and it's nice to express all my feelings, and tell it to the world, even if no one is listening. But upon my examination of life I have come to conclude that I am just so wrapped up in my own personal teenage girl life. But really, what teenage girl isn't?

So my thoughts? Upon today I've been pondering about perspective of life...
What if we changed the way we see things?
 What if we "were in someone elses shoes for a day"
 What if we saw things like we were five years old again?
What if we always thought with an eternal perspective?

What if....

and sometimes I think I think too much.

Small Joys

A text from "that one"

A hug in the hall

A smile from an old friend

A compliment from an unexpantant personage

A taco tuesday trip

A good score on a test

A walk with the cutest little brother

A positive attitude and

A optimistic outlook on life...

I've come to realize in my past bi-polar days that's it TOTALLY up to yourself to make life worth while It's no one else fault other than your own if you have a bad day. Now I completely undersand there's hard things in life and things that get all of us down, but when you look and recognize the small happy things in life you can't help but light up with joy. I have no real reason to be particualarly happy on this day. I mean I took 3 tests and have a ton of homework with a crazy busy life but I love it 'cause there's all those tiny moments of pure glee that I can hold onto through out my days that fill my soul with happiness.