If you have ever interacted with me at all, you know one thing, I am an awkward human being. There is no getting around it. I trip-up stairs and even trip on flat ground, I blurt out unrelated thoughts that no one understands, I go for a hug and my arms always collide with theirs, I smack butts of people I don't even know, I accidentally send ugly pictures of myself to entire contact lists, I wear see-through skirts to school and, thus, the most frequently used word in my vocabulary is 'awkward'.
Here's a story: I was planning on hanging out with a boy who then never responded, so I texted another boy and then they both responded at the same time, but you see these two boys don't necessarily get along... but then the first boy didn't come, so the second one did--along with his best friend (the one of this New Year's Eve incident). My bestie Heather had come over with her boy, and so we decided to invite our other girl homie Kalinja... that way no one would be 5th wheeling. So eventually all six of us sat at my house. Two of which had kissed two of us, but weren't the ones we wanted. Then the best friend left and five of us squished onto my couch. As midnight approached, three of them left, and now it was just me and the boy.
This is where the awkward happens.
We watched as everyone left and that is when it dawned on me. He didn't have a car. He was stranded at my house. Okay, so maybe stranded isn't completely accurate, but you get the idea. I asked him what his plan was and he said he'd walk over to his friend's house and get his car when he felt like it. *sigh of relief* he has a car not too far away. but when he felt like it? Excuse me, it is 12:30, and my bed time is at 9. But I was a kind hostess and let him stay.
So we sat in my dark, silent house for a few more minutes until the awkward got to him. He got up and began walking out the door. I gave him a hug and bid my farewell and then he asked, "Do you wanna walk with me?" Ugh. I am ready for bed. But sure, why not. So we walked down the block, at 1 a.m., in the freezing cold rain.
I mentioned it being a little chilly and he put his arm around me. (hint, never tell a boy you're cold unless you want him to cuddle you.) And so we walked, with his arm around me. And he isn't that much taller than me so that whole walking attached thing wasn't really working. I tripped, as I always do. But luckily this time I caught myself before face-planting. So I guess that was a good tactic to get his arm off of me, cause suddenly it was no longer around me!
Soon we were in front of his friend..our friend's house. Once again I gave him a hug, bid my farewell and then he asked, "don't you want a ride home?" Well a ride was a lot more appealing than walking back in the rain, so I said yes. Then he leaned in. Nope, not happening tonight. I simply turned around and got in the car pretending not to notice that he was totally going for it. We drove down the block to my house. I got out of the car and up to my porch as quickly as possible to try and avoid the doorstep scene. But he followed just as quickly. He leaned in again and this time I cut it off with a hug. Without saying another word I opened the door and closed it in his face...oops.
The next night he held my best friend's hand, so I guess he got the message.
There was also a time the other boy tried to kiss me, so I leaned away. He smoothly grabbed the small of my back and tried to dip me and kiss me. At this point there was only one way out. I rolled out of his arms, onto the concrete driveway and continued rolling away until I was safe. Stop. Drop. and Roll. It saved my life.
He also ended up with one of my best friends.
So if you need any tips on how to keep boys away, let me know.
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