Still Here.

Never fear, for God is near,

and He will wipe your every tear.

Just if anyone was wondering, no, I have not fallen off the face of the earth...well, at least physically. Mentally, I'm somewhere between the milky way and some other galaxy. If you've tried to interact with me as of late, I apologize for my absent-mindedness. But in reality, I don't ever interact with people so I highly doubt anyone has noticed. No one really knows what a mental wreck I am; not even myself. It started as a combination of school, my mother's unknowingly-degrading-daily-compliments, my messy room, dance, my schedule, my lack of social life, my everything-- so finally I just blew up. One silent super nova. And now pieces of my mind aimlessly wander through space. Each day at school I go through the motions: sit in class, take some notes, turn in a last-minute-scribbled assignment, move to the next class. And at home: come home, think of eating food but decide not to because my mom thinks I'm fat, sit, stare at my  homework, cry, and sleep (sometimes). I'm past feeling, past caring, past worrying, past living. I'm alive, but I'm certainly not living. Now how can I change this? Honestly, I don't know. How do I learn to live again? to be happy? to feel and learn and love? I don't know. But what I do know is that I have an incredible seminary teacher and he told me, 

"Put your trust in the Lord- trust His grace, trust with faith; do your best and He will do the rest"